Wednesday, March 5, 2008

times....they are a changin'....

caution: post EXTREMELY long, written by an EXTREMELY pregnant person with an EXTREME amount of hormones.......

Other than all that...I feel I need to actually publish this post I started about a little less than a month ago before this baby comes and it sits in the draft pile forever. Plus...isn't writing therapeutic? Or is that just what I've heard my entire life....

I have such issues with change. We have a love/hate relationship. This is the hardest part for me. Loosing my family of four. (Even though I know that it will be better. There will be more love and our joy will be even fuller.) I just know that it will never be the same as it is now.

I look at these little hands and know that in one week they won't look so little anymore...


And that little body that doesn't quite dare pedal, just prefers sitting and ringing her bell....




Does this have to end??? Can't they always jump for joy and scream and run with their dad gets home?



As you prepare for the "BIG TISS!!!" kiss...


and the "BIG HUG"....please don't let this change!

And little sister... you are so eager to be big like your brother!!! Wanting to be a part of all he does and be a friend to all of his....

but I am so glad that we had our time together this year. Just you and me. To hang out and do the things you wanted to do and take the path you wanted to take and see the things you wanted to see.



And my very first baby! I remember when you were tiny thinking that one day you would be five and it would probably feel like it happened in the blink of an eye....and you are....and you did.
You give me such hope when I feel like this is the hardest job EVER!!! You just got easier and easier! You are such a good boy! And so eager to be!
You LOVE school and your teacher and everything about it....

and you just look so big to me...


even though you will always be MY baby!


There is nothing better than watching your five year old (who looks eight) still using training wheels (that would be our bad...and we laugh over it all the time) almost completely eat-it on his bike....(with no helmet, mind you...which we have and will use)


only to completely recover and just keep going as if nothing happened as his parents almost pass out from laughing so hard. We were just lucky he was so far away and we could pull ourselves together before he got to us.

And will you always be my sweetest boy??? Who has so much love for everyone!!! Do you really have to grow up?

Can we play bite your nose off for a lot longer?


It's hard to hold a straight face when you're faced with that intensity.

Joe insisted this action shot be included...it's pretty nerve-racking to be in the receiving end of this plunge.


Then comes the BITE!

As she encompasses your nose...
You'll risk it all for it!

Only to have her teeth lightly touch down as she pulls away for the "give me my nose back" response. Which she thrives off of!
And this is how she looks at her daddy when they are done!


Does life get any better?


Oh, and here's one for you too, mom!



And as she contemplates her dance and serenade....


Singing her heart out unashamed...

I can't help wishing this stage would never end.


And we could have this time for just a little longer.

But I have yet to be disappointed with each new stage in our lives.
It seems to bring the same sentiments and feelings that have past.



I just wish it didn't feel like tomorrow.
I know it will be great to have an addition...I remember feeling this before Kate and after she came I couldn't imagine life without her....so why do I have to feel this way now??? And miss this part of my life that will soon change? Does it make the change to come that much sweeter? To find out there is nothing to miss? I think I'll just stick with that and hold on for one more week!

13 comments:

Jek said...

I LOVED THAT!! You are such a great mom!!
Could Kate look anymore like you did when you were little? In my mind you two are twins! I know I don't exactly remember how you looked, but in my head it looks like Kate.

Natalie said...

Good Luck this next week Suz! Great Post, because I totally relate to those feelings. I hope all goes well.

lori said...

This is so sweet, Suz! We can totally relate to these sentiments at our house. Anticipating change is happy...but a little heartbreaking. (You're right, though, things always end up being better than before!)

We love you guys are are thinking about you every day!

Lindsay said...

What a wonderful post Suzie! That camera of yours just makes it so much better too! I'm sorry your due date got pushed back a couple days, but we are rootin' for you and can't wait to see Graham - oops, sorry - Grey. : )

Anonymous said...

I loved all those sweet pictures and posts. Those little ones could not ask for a better mama...how lucky this little one on his way is too. We are all so blessed. Everything will go great and what a miracle a new baby and belonging to a family is. Love you.
Trisha

April said...

This was the sweetest (and funniest - I'm laughing so hard about the action shot) post! Congrats on your new baby! And your pics are amazing...

Marci said...

Thanks for that cathartic post. I feel like I should print and staple that to my journal. This is how it feels! Wish I had more time to post--Good luck this week Suze, thinking of you--

holly said...

I remember feeling EXACTLY the same way before I had Kara. I don't like change either.
Good luck!

Grandma lu said...

And it still seems only a heartbeat away when you were my little girl . . . and I still see that little face when i look are you.

Erin said...

What a sweet post Suzy. Your kids are so wonderful. What a blessing to have another. I will be thinking of you and praying for you.

Rachel said...

well...that made me teary! wait till your "baby" gets baptized and your already bawling in the corner of the room and then they ask you to bear your testimony!!?? that was my saturday.. its so hard for me also to have my kids grow up so fast and to have things change.. throwing more kids into the mix.. its such a change.. but like you said its a great change and the minute you lay your eyes on that baby you can't imagine a day in your life with out him.. it might take the other kids just a bit longer to feel that way too.. but they do.. why are we so old suz!? and why do our boys ride with training wheels for a couple of years longer than the others?? (jace was a good 5 1/2)i'll blame that one on the bowler gene :)

The Ratchford Family said...

Suz,
That is totally how I feel before each baby. I remember just holding Leah before Eva was born thinking having all the time in the world to hold her would soon be over. You have become an amazing photographer. There has to be some natural talent there. Because I got a new camera and my pictures still look like the same old snap shots.

{Annie N.} said...

That was so cute! I got teary just reading it. Your kids are adorable and I want your camera. (Or maybe just your talent)